PORTLAND – In the verdant forests just outside Portland, Oregon, a bizarre and intriguing sighting has captured the imaginations of locals and enthusiasts alike. It wasn’t just any ordinary Sasquatch that was reportedly spotted, but one with a strikingly vibrant feature: orange fur. Yes, you read that right—a Bigfoot with hair a very familiar shade of orange.
The sighting was reported by a vanlifer who goes by the moniker BigDNomad. Parked up on ZigZag Road near Mount Hood village, he recounted his experience, stating that he was simply minding his own business, running his various social media accounts via Starlink, when he caught a glimpse of something unusual in the dense woods.
“At first glance, I saw that wild orange hair and I was terrified. I thought he had finally come looking for me after all those nasty things I said back in 2016. Turns out it was just Sasquatch, so I was pretty relieved,” BigDNomad recounted with a chuckle.
But what could explain the extraordinary orange hue of the creature’s fur? Cryptozoologist Dr. Isabella Coleman weighed in on the matter, shedding some light on the perplexing phenomenon. According to her, while the fur of a Sasquatch, like that of many mammals, can undergo changes over time—such as darkening or showing more gray—the appearance of an orange hue is indeed quite rare and unusual.
Excitedly speculating on the potential origins of this unique trait, Dr. Coleman suggested the possibility of epigenetic expression resulting from ancient orangutan admixture. However, she admitted that what triggered the genetic activation at this particular moment in time remains a mystery.
“His hair looks poofier, and that orange hue is awfully familiar. We last saw this in 2016, so there must be some similarities between that year and this one. Why would it be advantageous to exhibit unruly orange hair at a time like this?” Dr. Coleman pondered, her enthusiasm palpable.
As news of the orange Bigfoot spread like wildfire, the online community couldn’t resist speculating on its identity. Some suggested that this creature might be none other than the elusive “Sauce-Squatch” spotted earlier in the year. Could it be possible that the fur’s unusual hue is simply the result of being stained with tomato sauce?
While skeptics may scoff at such claims, the allure of the unknown continues to captivate the minds of those who dare to believe in the extraordinary. Whether this orange Bigfoot is a rare genetic anomaly, an ancient relic of primordial ancestry, or simply the result of a messy encounter with marinara sauce, one thing remains certain: the legend of the Sasquatch, in all its colorful manifestations, persists in the hearts and minds of believers everywhere.
Stan Dirkson
