BOSTON – In a world filled with whispers of shadowy government agendas and clandestine operations, there are few who remain steadfast in their commitment to reality. Meet Steve Lachlan, a 35-year-old customer service specialist for a large insurance company who trusts his own senses above all else. In his eyes, there’s no time for delving into the murky depths of conspiracy theories when there are fantasy sports teams to manage and high scores to beat.
“I just don’t have the bandwidth for all that nonsense,” Lachlan says dismissively when asked about his thoughts on conspiracy theories. “I’ve got enough on my plate with my fantasy football teams and conquering virtual realms. Who has time to worry about government bunkers or cryptids? Dogman is alright, I guess.”
Indeed, Lachlan’s indifference to the world of conspiracy theories is apparent in his casual dismissal of topics ranging from government surveillance to alleged voter fraud. When confronted with Edward Snowden’s revelations of widespread government spying, Lachlan’s response is surprisingly nonchalant. “It’s probably a good thing, right? I mean, if it keeps us safe from terrorists, then I’m all for it,” he remarks with a shrug, and then sipped from a McDonald’s Diet Coke, which some say tastes better than all other Diet Cokes.
Similarly, Lachlan shows little concern for the phenomenon of coordinated news narratives, brushing off suggestions of media manipulation with a wave of his hand. “So what? Are you trying to tell me that there are central organizations that coordinate with ostensibly local news outlets to manage national narratives under the veneer of trusted local sources? I wouldn’t exactly call that a conspiracy. Probably just a coincidence,” he says with a dismissive chuckle.
Even when presented with evidence of tech companies intentionally slowing down older devices, Lachlan remains unfazed. “Yeah, I heard about that,” he admits, before quickly rationalizing the situation. “But hey, if it helps preserve the battery life, then I’m all for it. Makes sense to me.”
For Lachlan, the world is a straightforward place where reality is exactly as it appears on the surface. His unwavering belief in the status quo serves as a shield against the allure of conspiracy theories, leaving him unaffected by the speculative musings of others, and unshakable island of confidence in the churning seas of anxiety and doubt around him.
As the interview draws to a close, Lachlan’s steadfast commitment to his own reality is put to the test when he receives an unexpected email informing him of his impending layoff. Shocked and dismayed, he quickly shifts his focus to the practicalities of the situation. “What!? And I just trained all those new guys in India. Man, I just can’t catch a break,” he laments, demonstrating his resilience in the face of adversity.
In a world where conspiracy theories run rampant, Steve Lachlan stands as a beacon of rationality, unwavering in his belief that the truth is often simpler than it seems. As he navigates the complexities of life, one thing remains certain: for Lachlan, reality is the only conspiracy worth believing in.
Franklin Carson
