Salut, les amis! Spring has sprung! The warm breezes have returned, forcing out the sleepy cold of Winter. Forest animals are awakening from hibernation. They are pairing up to share the abundance of the Earth, mate, and create offspring. Enjoy the beasts from afar and bask in the enjoyment of your own existence for the miracles of our planet never cease.
The Grey January 1 – January 29:
Ether-breather, the time has come to reach out to a human and make contact. There will be many hikers and outdoorsmen to choose amongst. Pick a worthy specimen – I see their name may be Jebb – and bring them aboard your mighty vessel of flight.
Etsai January 30 – February 27:
Your Spring plan: 1. Mix a nice cocktail. 2. Pick up a trashy tabloid. 3. Read by a pool. 4. If you choose, meet a new cutie. 5. Have a blast. Party on, friend!
Doppelgänger February 28 – March 27:
Gather up a few close friends and head out to a live concert over the next few weeks. Or, if you are one of those weirdos that hates music, try a trivia night at a local brewery. Or, if you hate fun in general, join a book club. Jeez-Louise, Picky! Just get out of the house.
Sandwalker March 28 – April 25:
It will soon be time to hit the beach for your yearly dose of sunbeams and saltwater. Just so you stay within budget, check out the sales on bathing suits and sunblock before they sell out. If you choose, you still have time to drop a few pounds before the height of Summer. Now, is the time for preparation, research, and choices.
Sasquatch April 26 – May 24:
Positive changes are around the bend, my furry pal. The warm weather will bring on a seasonal shedding. You will not only lose a bit of your fur, but dump a bunch of useless junk, too. It is Spring cleaning time. Be ruthless. You can do without that space-hogging stuff.
Chupacabra May 25 – June 22:
For Winter, it was almost like your goat-hunger went into hibernation while you were up most nights tossing and turning. What was on your mind, Chupa? You will soon come to terms with that and make choices that will move your life in the direction you wish it to go.
Lusca June 23 – July 21:
Time to stretch the legs and put those tentacles to work. There is so much to adhere to, but only so much of it is worth the trouble. It is time to choose what matters, what can be pushed aside, and what sits in the center.
Centaur July 22 – August 19:
The sunshine is calling and sandals are in order. With those gnarly hooves, you better not! Keep those puppies hidden until you can get in for a hoof-job. My advice: Spend extra for the luxury treatment. You will love it!
Goatman August 20 – September 17:
Spring is a time when it is good to look back on the lessons Winter brought us. Could we have been better prepared, perhaps? Take a moment to look forward into the next year’s Winter. What will you do differently next time?
Frogman September 18 – October 16:
Those April showers are doing wonderful things for your complexion. Your pores are clean and wide open. But, be cautious in the Sun, Froggy. You know it can burn and dry you out.
The Loch Ness Monster October 17 – November 7:
Nessie has been batting their lashes at a new cryptid. Dogman may look like a catch, but you can clearly see that he has imposter syndrome. You could do without the self-esteem issues. Your purpose on Earth is not to take care of everyone else. Nessie needs to focus on themselves this Spring.
Beast of Exmoor November 8 – December 6:
It is time to get out and stalk some new prey. Spring brings a fresh supply of birds and squirrels to immerse yourself in. You have teeth and claws for a reason, but sometimes it can be fun to simply watch and think about those delicious morsels. Babies can be so cute!
Mermaid December 7 – December 31:
This is your favorite time of year. You always perk up around the Spring equinox when your underwater lair fills with beams of light and the decorative seaweed vibrates with energy. Breach and luxuriate.
May the Spring find you in happy spirits! May you raise a glass of whichever beverage you choose in honor of the Sun. We have made it through the frozen dangers of Winter. Let us be merry for we have survived!
Until next week, my friends!
Lady Bacon
