TULSA – A honeymooner’s visit to the quaint Stone Lion Inn Bed and Breakfast turned into a nightmarish ordeal when she found herself possessed by the ghost of a young girl, whose eerie warnings now emanate through her rear end!
Mrs. Amelia O’Donnell, a 32-year-old teacher from Tulsa, never imagined her honeymoon at the charming Stone Lion Inn would turn into a tale straight out of a horror movie. Little did she know, the historic inn harbored a chilling secret: the restless spirit of a mischievous young girl who met a tragic end decades ago.
“It was supposed to be a romantic getaway,” Amelia recounted, her voice trembling with fear. “But from the moment we arrived, strange things started happening.”
According to Mrs. O’Donnell, it all began innocently enough with faint whispers in the night and unexplained cold drafts. But as the hours passed, the supernatural occurrences took a bizarre turn.
“It started with strange noises emanating from my… uh… well… asshole,” Amelia hesitated, clearly uncomfortable discussing the unsettling events. “At first, I thought it was just indigestion from the rich food, but then the farts began speaking!”
Yes, you read that correctly. The ghostly presence that haunted the Stone Lion Inn had seemingly taken up residence in Mrs. O’Donnell’s derriere, using her as a vessel to convey its eerie messages.
“It’s horrifying,” Amelia admitted, her eyes darting nervously. “The farts… they speak of the afterlife and sometimes reveal my innermost thoughts and secrets. It’s like I’ve lost all control!”
Eyewitnesses corroborate Mrs. O’Donnell’s account, describing how her flatulence now carries an otherworldly resonance, warning unsuspecting bystanders of the perils that await beyond the grave.
“It’s crazy!” said fourth grade student, Timmy Jenkins, “One minute, we’re learning about long division, and the next, Mrs. O’Donnell’s butt is delivering a chilling sermon about what she really thinks about Principal Rogers and his stupid looking toupee!”
As news of Mrs. O’Donnell’s haunted hindquarters spreads, experts in the paranormal are baffled by the phenomenon, unable to offer a rational explanation for the spectral possession.
“It’s unprecedented,” remarked Dr. Franklin Batchelder, a renowned paranormal investigator. “While we’ve heard of spirits inhabiting objects and even animals, possessing a human being’s buttocks is entirely new territory.”
With no end in sight to Mrs. O’Donnell’s supernatural affliction, she and her husband find themselves at the mercy of forces beyond their comprehension, grappling with the terrifying consequences of their honeymoon from hell.
“I just want my life back,” Mrs. O’Donnell sobbed, her voice choked with emotion. “But until this ghost is exorcised, I fear my everyone from my husband to my mother will know exactly what I’m thinking at all times. Who can live like that?”
In light of this spine-tingling saga, we urge caution to all travelers considering a stay at a historic inn or Bed & Breakfast. For who knows what malevolent spirits may lurk within its historic walls, waiting to lay claim to unsuspecting visitors’ backsides!
You have been warned, beware the dangers of a haunted anus, for having all of your secrets revealed by your backside really stinks!
The Ghost Of Andrew Crowe
