An early childhood expert has come forward with a theory that all parents have held to be true for centuries: toddlers are actually demons in disguise. Dr. Margaret Jones, a renowned psychologist who specializes in early childhood development, made the revelation during a recent interview, stunning the childless with her unorthodox views, while parents mostly felt a resigned vindication.
“It’s time we faced the truth – toddlers are not innocent little angels, but rather demonic entities that are hell-bent on driving their parents to the brink of insanity,” Dr. Jones declared. “I’ve spent years studying child behavior, and the evidence is overwhelming – toddlers exhibit all the classic signs of demonic possession, from their unpredictable tantrums to their insatiable appetite for chaos. The efficiency with which they can make messes and break household items can only be described as supernatural.”
Dr. Jones’s theory may sound far-fetched to some, but she insists that her research leaves no room for doubt. “I’ve conducted numerous studies and experiments that support my hypothesis,” she explained. “For example, I’ve observed toddlers displaying superhuman strength when throwing tantrums, as well as exhibiting an uncanny ability to sense when their parents are at their most vulnerable. Somehow, they scream with a certain pitch that can temporarily scramble a parent’s mind.”
But what exactly led Dr. Jones to this chilling conclusion? According to her, it was a chance encounter with the occult that opened her eyes to the true nature of toddlers. “I was conducting research on childhood development when I stumbled upon an ancient text that spoke of demons inhabiting human bodies,” she recounted. “At first, I was skeptical, but the more I delved into the subject, the more convinced I became that toddlers are indeed vessels for malevolent spirits. Every single parent I’ve talked to has confirmed that I’m definitely right.”
Since making her theory public, Dr. Jones has faced backlash from some childless members of the scientific community, who have dismissed her claims as pseudoscience. However, she remains undeterred, insisting that her findings will revolutionize our understanding of child psychology, and that she has the backing of every single parent on Earth.
“I understand that my theory may be controversial, but I stand by my research,” Dr. Jones asserted. “Toddlers may look innocent on the outside, but beneath their cherubic façade lies a darkness that few are willing to acknowledge. A lot of the time, they don’t even look all that innocent on the outside.”
In light of Dr. Jones’s revelations, many parents are now grappling with the unsettling realization that their precious little ones may not be as innocent as they appear. “It’s a pretty common theory,” admitted Sarah Thompson, a mother of two. “When I look at my toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store, it’s kind of hard to believe that a human child could create that kind of chaos so quickly, and for absolutely no reason.”
One thing is clear – Dr. Margaret Jones’s theory has struck a nerve, forcing us to confront the reality that toddlers are more than meets the eye. Her claims are rooted in fact and one thing is for certain – the world of early childhood development can probably be abandoned in favor of widespread exorcisms.
Franklin Carson
