THE LAURENTIAN ABYSS – With a long peal from a mighty conch shell, the final shift ends at the future site of Stellantis’ Laurentian Engine Works. Long lines of mer-folk, hardhat-wearing crustaceans, and kelpies behind the wheels of American automobiles pass through the checkpoint gates, uncertain of when – or if – they will return to finish construction on this state of the art facility. When the Laurentian Engine Works gates close behind them, so does a chapter in the history of the North Atlantic auto industry.
full time to floatin’
surety bonds
Stellantis, the largest auto manufacturer in the world, began permitting and construction on the Laurentian Abyss plant in the Spring of 2023, fueled by a surging post-Covid economy and demand for autos in North America. Under the terms of the Trump-era USMCA (United States Mexico Canada and Atlantis) Trade Agreement, autos and auto parts would flow freely across the borders of the partner nations with limited trade restrictions. A Chrysler Pacifica may be dumped in the ocean over the Mariana Trench Assembly and trawled back out to plants across international borders a dozen times before it is ready for delivery to a dealership.
“Land creatures do not ken the complexities–the subtle ebbs and flows–of the auto manufacturing industry,” said Keilyn Darkshore, a Local 1033 Mer-man formerly employed at the Laurentian Abyss site. “If bipeds understood that ninety percent of their headliners and upholstery are installed by hardworking fish and mollusk-beasts in this watery kingdom, maybe they would have a little more respect for the global economy.” Like the rest of the construction crew, Mr Darkshore was laid off when plant construction halted. The spirling 30-meter tall walls of the factory may never be adorned with his load-bearing mosaic artwork depicting frolicing, nude fish men.
Fishy Financial Futures
Shares of Stellantis were trading Thursday at 9.37USD (1.2 Shiny Pearls on the Atlantean Stock Exchange), a nearly 50% drop from the period before US tariffs threw massive uncertainty into the auto industry. Some Atlantean assembly line workers wonder if the industry will ever recover.
We met with an Undersea Auto Worker Local 777 member at a tavern popular with blue collar workers. The now-unemployed blobfish, who prefers to remain nameless, was irate at the US government for what he saw as their intentional sabotage of the industry. “America acts like those were human jobs, like they owned them! Well, they were sea monster jobs, too! I got a family to feed! People say us Union guys get all sorts of bennies, but I tell ya, it’s nothing like what my dad got when he was making cars. His secret grotto was loaded with major league human trinkets! Real valuable stuff. Me? I had to fight with a guy last week over a Manu Ginóbili action figure. My grotto sucks. Blob. That’s my retirement!”
Representatives from Stellantis would not comment on the immediate future of the Laurentian Engine Works, but did not rule out the possibility of resuming construction if trade agreements normalize. In the meantime, both working and temporarily laid-off Atlanteans are feeling a sense of pride, brought together by the bond of their nation and the threat of the gigantic sea creature that arose from the depths last Tuesday.
