INSTAGRAM – In a shocking revelation, Anansi, the legendary African trickster god known for his cunning ways, has been unmasked as the puppet master behind the infamous Bigfoot meme page on Instagram, @bigfoots.arena. Operating through his morbidly obese vessel, Turd Ferguson, the deity has been pilfering memes, t-shirt designs, and jewelry creations with his eight thieving limbs. However, he went one step too far when he shared an edited version of the stunning photography of the Sasquatch versus Slenderman battle that unfolded in Upstate New York just this week.
Anansi, through Ferguson’s sweaty, cheeto stained sausage fingers, removed the classic reality register frame and watermark that Instagram users have come to recognize as a mark of quality, and failed to report even one bit of information about the incredible photo, leading some Instagram viewers to believe that Sasquatch was being portrayed as a bloodthirsty monster, when in fact he was merely exacting much deserved satisfaction from the faceless ghoul who had taken advantage of the cryptid’s weakened state to move in on his mate.
The Reality Register’s crack team of reporters successfully unveiled this divine deception, leveraging their connections in the Netherworld to expose the truth. Stan Dirkson, the editor-in-chief of the Reality Register, expressed outrage over the stolen intellectual property, especially photographs that were stripped of context, potentially misleading Instagram users.
“We are here to spread the truth and shine light on the dark corners of reality,” Dirkson declared. “However, this obese vessel for a trickster god stripped our exclusive photographs of context, potentially misleading the good people of Instagram. We would never slander the legendary Bigfoot, and we certainly wouldn’t want to foment sympathy for the dastardly Slenderman.”
Anansi’s illicit activities have not only compromised the integrity of original content but also misled followers with twisted narratives. Turd Ferguson, the unwitting pawn in this divine drama, has been earning a meager $20 a month in ill-gotten gains.
The Reality Register urges Instagram users to be vigilant and discerning consumers of content, vowing to continue their mission to expose the truth and confront deceptive forces in the world of social media. The revelation of Anansi’s involvement has left many questioning the authenticity of online content, reminding us all to tread carefully in the digital realm.
The Reality Register Staff
