JOHNSTOWN – In a small Ohio town, Larry Gilroy, a man known about town with an irreverent sense of humor, found himself facing an unexpected end. Stricken by an injury from a medical procedure gone wrong, Larry decided to embrace his departure with a unique and somewhat outrageous final wish — to be launched over the town in his casket by a trebuchet, with no concern for where he might land!
Larry’s unconventional request was not met with enthusiasm, and every funeral director in town refused to entertain the idea. Undeterred, Larry, along with his friends, took matters into their own hands. Fueled by camaraderie and a shared sense of mischief, they embarked on a mission to design and build a trebuchet that would fulfill Larry’s extraordinary last wish to be thrown through the sky and smashed against the ground.
Drawing on their collective skills, Larry’s old union buddies from the local mill worked tirelessly to construct the medieval siege weapon. As Larry lay on his deathbed, the trebuchet took shape, becoming a symbol of friendship and a testament to the lengths people would go to honor an unconventional request for a good friend.
On the day of the funeral, as the congregation gathered and the choir prepared to sing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in the style of Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole, the trebuchet stood proudly on his front lawn, which had grown patchy over rhe course of his illness. Larry’s casket was secured and ready for its unconventional send-off.
As the trebuchet released its payload, the townspeople watched in awe and disbelief. Larry soared through the air, suspended in a moment that transcended the ordinary. The unconventional farewell, however, took an unexpected turn when the casket landed two blocks away with a resounding thud.
To the shock and horror of onlookers, Larry’s casket exploded upon impact, showering the street with a confetti of embalmed human remains. What was intended as a lighthearted and eccentric farewell quickly turned into chaos, leaving the townspeople bewildered and questioning the wisdom of indulging Larry’s final wish.
Larry’s pallbearers were promptly arrested by homeland security for what appeared to be a biological attack. The combination of humor and tragedy created a story that would be retold for years to come, cementing Larry’s legacy as the man who orchestrated one of the most unconventional farewells in Ohio’s history.
In the end, Larry’s trebuchet tribute became a symbol of the lengths true friends would go to honor the unique wishes of a departing soul, even if it meant facing unexpected consequences in the process.
Stan Dirkson
