After reading our recent articles reporting on his radical dietary shifts, the Chupacabra reached out to us and asked to set the record straight. Stan Dirkson met him at a local park to get to know the cryptid who now wants to be called Jorge.
Reality Register (RR): Jorge, it’s a pleasure to have this candid conversation with you. Let’s kick things off with a topic that has intrigued many: your recent name change. Can you tell us about the decision to go from the Chupacabra to Jorge?
Jorge (J): Thanks for having me, it’s time to set the record straight. The name change was a personal choice. “Chupacabra” was loaded with mythical baggage and kind of sounds silly, when you really think about it. Jorge feels more authentic, and it was my original name back in Puerto Rico in the 70s, so this is really just a return to who I’ve always been.
RR: That’s a significant shift. Now, let’s delve into your dietary journey. Going vegan is not what people typically associate with the Chupacabra. What prompted this shift, and how did it unfold?
J: You know, approaching 50, I started feeling the need for a change. Veganism seemed like a way to embrace a healthier lifestyle. I explored plant-based living, but, truth be told, I missed the taste of meat. Energy levels weren’t the same, and it was clear I needed to find a balance. Who ever heard of a predatory cryptid who doesn’t eat meat?! I do need to be true to myself here, I am a carnivore, and my body responds well to the proper fuel. I feel great, but it was touch and go for a minute there.
RR: Your journey into veganism brought about a different public perception. Did this affect how people saw you?
J: Absolutely. People began viewing me as someone trying to adapt to modern health trends rather than a mythical creature. It was a refreshing change, but the challenge was getting them to see beyond the long-standing stereotypes, but I don’t need to betray my own identity to get there. I’ve got a lot of love to give, too, I’m not your stereotypical monster.
RR: Speaking of stereotypes, the alien and lizard creature labels have followed you. How do you navigate the public’s perception of who you are?
J: It’s a constant challenge. Those labels are offensive. I’m not an alien or a lizard; I’m Jorge, a creature with feelings. The struggle is getting people to see the reality beyond the myths that have surrounded me for so long.
RR: Accusations of being a mange-infested coyote must add another layer to this. How do you address these claims?
J: It’s disheartening. I’m not a coyote with mange; I’m a distinct creature. I’m not really even related to dogs, as far as I can tell. Maybe I’m some kind of experiment, I honestly don’t know, but I’m sick of all the phony labels.
RR: Shifting gears, let’s talk about your experiences in human society. Publix and the slow pace of Pensacola have become part of your routine. How has this urban lifestyle influenced your perspective?
J: Life has changed, man. Publix is my go-to now, I hardly ever mutilate livestock anymore. The meat is right there, and the prices aren’t too bad. There’s something about the slow pace in Pensacola that resonates with me. It’s a different adventure, navigating through human routines. I’m finding peace in this simplicity.
RR: Are there specific challenges you face in adapting to this slower pace?
J: It’s an adjustment, for sure. I miss the thrill of the chase, but there’s a certain peace in the calm of Pensacola. I’ve gotta be honest, the driving is hard to get used to. Everyone is either a thousand years old and ready to die, driving 2 miles an hour or they’re racing around with their pedal to the metal, weaving in and out. It’s tough to get used to, but that’s the price for getting civilized.
RR: Let’s touch on family. Do you have any offspring, and do you aspire to start a family in the future?
J: I’m not aware of any offspring, but I’d love to have a family someday. Always dreamed of having a bird companion, maybe a cassowary or something cool like that. Not sure which species would be the right match, but I think it would bring a new dimension to my life.
RR: In wrapping up, Jorge, what’s the message you want the world to take away from this interview?
J: See me for who I am, not the myths. I may not know where I came from, but I’m a creature with experiences and aspirations. Let’s move past the labels and embrace the reality that I’m just trying to live my life, one day at a time like everybody else. Also, please visit therealityregister.com every day and make sure you click the ads.
