SANTA MONICA – In an astonishing tale that will make you question what lies beneath the waves, local beachcomber Jack Bach claims he had a steamy encounter with a beguiling mermaid during a casual day of flipping rocks while looking for crabs – but he found love.
Bach, known for his fascination with coastal critters, was minding his own business, flipping rocks and looking at whatever he found underneath, which was typically crabs. Soon, he found himself spellbound when a mesmerizing mermaid surfaced near him, luring him into a whirlpool of aquatic passion. The mysterious sea siren, adorned with iridescent scales and flowing tresses, allegedly left Bach “hot and bothered” as she initiated an unexpected underwater rendezvous.
According to Bach, things took a surprising turn when the mermaid laid millions of eggs in the ocean, encouraging him to play a part in fertilizing this aquatic nursery. With a blend of curiosity and dedication, our unlikely hero claims to have given his best effort, speculating that he might have successfully fertilized a couple of the enchanting mermaid’s eggs.
Undeterred by the mystical experience, Bach embarked on a quest to reunite with his aquatic paramour. However, the mermaid, evidently a social butterfly of the sea, was spotted swimming alongside some handsome, popular dolphins, leaving Bach in search of love amidst the waves.
As incredible as this story may sound, Bach remains adamant about the authenticity of his mermaid encounter. Could love truly blossom between a man and a mythical sea creature, or is this just a fishy tale concocted by a beachcomber with an overactive imagination? Only time—and the tides—will tell. Keep an eye on the tides, you just might find a creature born of man and fishwoman, three quarters human and 100% lovechild.
Stan Dirkson
