Ladies, we all know there’s a fine line between passion and obsession, especially when it comes to matters of the heart and mythical creatures. If you’ve ever caught your man daydreaming about Bigfoot more than he dreams about you, it might be time to ask yourself: Is he truly head over heels for you, or just head over heels for cryptids? Grab a cup of coffee and get ready to spill the tea, because we’re decoding the signs of a cryptid-obsessed lover.
Question 1: Does he know more about the Mothman than your favorite movie? If your man can rattle off Mothman sightings faster than you can quote your go-to rom-com, you might have a cryptid connoisseur on your hands. Love should be like a good rom-com, not a Mothman documentary marathon!
Question 2: Is the Loch Ness Monster his favorite swimming companion? If your guy insists on planning vacations around Loch Ness in hopes of a Nessie sighting, you might need to remind him that you’re the real catch. After all, there’s no competition between you and a mythical sea serpent, right?
Question 3: Does he believe in chupacabras more than he believes in PMS? If he’s quick to believe in the elusive chupacabra but questions the existence of monthly mood swings, it might be time for a reality check. Chupacabras may be mysterious, but so is the female psyche!
Question 4: Has he ever canceled date night for a Sasquatch expedition? If your dinner plans are suddenly replaced by a last-minute Sasquatch hunting trip, you might need to tell him that the only thing going extinct is your patience for cryptid-centered cancellations.
Question 5: Does he have a more extensive Yeti sweater collection than you have shoes? If his closet is filled with more Yeti sweaters than your shoe collection, it’s time to remind him that fashion should be fabulous, not furry. Yetis may be snow-covered, but that doesn’t mean his wardrobe should be too!
Question 6: Is he convinced your dog is a secret government experiment and not just a Shih Tzu? If your man spends more time speculating on your pup’s potential government ties than appreciating his adorable Shih Tzu quirks, it might be time to suggest a walk in the park—without the conspiracy theories.
Question 7: Does he whisper sweet nothings about aliens more than he whispers sweet nothings to you? If his bedtime stories involve extraterrestrial encounters more than romantic escapades, you might need to remind him that love is the best adventure, not a close encounter of the third kind.
Remember, ladies, a little cryptid fascination can be charming, but when it starts to overshadow your relationship, it’s time to reevaluate. If you answered yes to 4 or more of these questions, it may be time to move on. After all, you deserve a man who’s head over heels for you, not just head over heels for the mysterious and mythical. Yeti or not, it’s time to turn the page from cryptid crushes to romantic chapters—because love is the ultimate mystery worth solving!
Zoey Gray
