THE AFTERLIFE – In an unprecedented act of journalistic integrity, the Reality Register’s staff medium has made contact with the ghost of none other than Neil Armstrong, the first man to walk on the moon. However, instead of celestial revelations or otherworldly wisdom, Armstrong’s spectral message was one of frustration and correction.
“I resent being called Mr. Alien,” declared the ghost of Armstrong, his voice echoing through the séance room. “And no one ever called me Gnorts when I was alive.”
The iconic astronaut, renowned for his historic Apollo 11 mission, expressed his discontent at being misidentified and lumped together with extraterrestrial beings. “I read every single story on the Reality Register,” he proclaimed, emphasizing his high regard for the publication. “Heaven’s library gets every truthful publication, so there’s not much else to read. I saw your article by Mr Sinclair and yes, I know Gnorts, also known as Mr. Alien, but we are friends who met on the moon in 1969 and we are not the same person.”
Armstrong was keen on setting the record straight, asserting the distinction between himself and Gnorts, whom he referred to as a close associate and friend. “While we may have been more than that sometimes,” he added cryptically, “we are two distinct individuals.” He clarified that Gnorts returned home in the 70s, coinciding with a decline in NASA’s activities.
“After I died, I had hoped that maybe all aliens, like dogs, go to heaven,” the ghostly voice continued, revealing a hint of melancholy. “But it turns out that all that anal probing has damned the entire Grey species.”
The revelation took a dark turn as Armstrong’s ghost delved into cosmic justice. “Furthermore, since the Reticulans are outside of the protection of God, it’s okay to kill them or probe them yourself,” he declared, his tone resolute yet tinged with sorrow.
The unexpected discourse from the beyond left the Reality Register’s staff reeling. The once-revered astronaut, whose name became synonymous with human achievement, now appeared as a spectral voice of cosmic justice and retribution.
Some foolish, misguided and dishonorable skeptics questioned the authenticity of the séance, attributing the message to the medium’s subconscious or a clever hoax. However, others found themselves pondering the implications of Armstrong’s ghostly revelation.
The encounter with Neil Armstrong’s ghost serves as a stark reminder of the complexities of existence and the mysteries that lie beyond our understanding. One thing remains certain: the ghost of Neil Armstrong has left an indelible mark on the pages of history, challenging perceptions and inviting contemplation on the nature of life, death, and the vast unknown that lies beyond the stars.
Stan Dirkson
