TULSA – The recent tornadoes that wreaked havoc in Tulsa, Oklahoma, brought the expected rain, hail, flying debris and lightning, but it also brough something unexpected: flying monkeys. Amidst the destruction caused by the mile-wide funnel cloud, the Sooner State found itself contending with a swarm of unexpected visitors.
These airborne intruders, resembling Indian bat monkeys, had been making headlines prior to their appearance in Tulsa. Sightings had been reported in New York City and even at a casino in Connecticut. However, their sudden arrival in the heart of tornado country left residents stunned and scrambling for safety.
The origins of these monkeys are as peculiar as their sudden appearance. According to our reliable anonymous sources in the trucking industry, the invasive beasts were being transported to Texas from various Patel Brothers locations across the nation. Patel Brothers, a well-known Indian grocery store chain, unwittingly became the source of this surreal phenomenon after the monkeys began stowing away in shipments of produce from India, adding a new dimension to the challenges faced by supply chain managers.
Tragically, the truck carrying these primates became a direct target of the tornado’s wrath. In a scene reminiscent of “The Wizard of Oz,” the storm unleashed the monkeys from the rear of the truck, dumping dozens of the animals upon the unsuspecting populace. Chaos ensued as the creatures swarmed and attacked pedestrians and first responders alike.
Fortunately, Oklahoma’s existing gun culture provided a swift solution to the unexpected threat. Armed citizens were able to dispatch the flying monkeys, albeit with some difficulty. Nevertheless, the ordeal left a lasting impression on the community, serving as a reminder of the unpredictable nature of natural disasters and the need for preparedness.
As if the presence of flying monkeys weren’t surreal enough, reports began to surface of a vicious witch meeting her demise in the downpour that followed the tornado. While these accounts remain unconfirmed at this point, we have secured an exclusive image of the remains of this heinous crone.
The aftermath of the tornadoes in Tulsa serves as a stark reminder of the importance of disaster readiness and resilience. Even in the face of the most fantastical of challenges, communities must come together to ensure the safety and well-being of their residents.
In the end, while the tornadoes may have brought destruction and chaos, they also brought out the resilience and resourcefulness of the people of Tulsa. And who knows, perhaps they’ll have a few more stories to tell about the day flying monkeys descended upon the Sooner State.
Franklin Carson
