As the total eclipse scheduled for Monday across much of the United States and Canada quickly approaches, many are captivated by the beauty and intrigue of this celestial event. But for me, the impending darkness brings with it not just awe, but a sense of excitement for what comes after – the post-apocalyptic world.
Numerous relgious groups and other organizations have predicted the eclipse will bring with it the end of days. While others may fear the impending doom, I can’t help but eagerly anticipate the chaos and adventure that awaits. Here are five reasons why you should be excited to see the coming post-apocalyptic landscape too:
1. Fashion Forward: In the post-apocalyptic world, fashion takes on a whole new meaning. Forget the catwalks of Milan – we’re talking punk rock hairstyles, leather jackets, and armor made from repurposed tires. It’s a world where creativity thrives amid the rubble, and I, for one, can’t wait to strut my stuff in some DIY tire armor. Trust me, it’s going to be awesome.
2. Lawlessness Reigns: With the collapse of formal legal systems, the post-apocalyptic world becomes a playground of lawlessness. Sure, there may be some downsides, all of which currently are beyond me, but think of the freedom! It’ll be like the Wild West all the time, minus the pesky sheriff. I, for one, am ready to embrace the thrill of life without rules. It’s going to be really awesome.
3. Mutant Mayhem: Thanks to the potential fallout from the eclipse, we could see some real-life mutants roaming the wasteland. And let me tell you, I’ve played enough video games to know that mutant freaks make for excellent target practice. It’s going to be super awesome taking them out indiscriminately.
4. New Currency, New Riches: As society crumbles, so too does the old monetary system. But fear not – in the post-apocalyptic world, everyday goods like water or bottle caps will become the currency of choice. And guess who’s been hoarding random items in their basement for years? That’s right, me. I’m going to be living like a post-apocalyptic king, and it’s going to be immeasurably awesome.
5. Building a Better Society: Amidst the chaos, a new society will inevitably emerge. Sure, it might take a few years, but imagine a world where everyone’s needs are taken into account. We’ll finally have the opportunity to reevaluate our values and rebuild society from the ground up. With my plan and charisma, I am sure will be proclaimed high chancellor of Earth that was and it’s going to be more awesome than anything in the history of anything.
So, as the world braces for the coming eclipse and the doomsday prophecies swirl, I can’t help but feel a sense of anticipation. Because while others may see the end of the world, I see the beginning of something truly epic. So grab your tire armor, stock up on bottle caps, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime. Because when it comes to the end of the world, the only things to do are to embrace it with open arms or have them torn off by the closest local warlord.
Hiram Glassman
