Punished by Krampus by Skyla Gray and Spanked by the Krampus by Lisbet Castle
In the delightfully whimsical holiday traditions drawn from Germanic and Teutonic myth, children were judged in the dark days of the year based on their behavior. The good boys und girls got their treats from St. Nick.
The rest got physically abused by Krampus.
Who is Krampus?
With charcoal skin, lolling red tongue, wicked horns, and cloven hooves, Krampus is a creature straight out of the Alpine subconscious. While the Krampus we recognize is linked to the Christian feast of St. Nicholas, his whole vibe clearly predates Christianity in the region. Less a Saint, he more resembles one of the shaggy horned helpers of the winter witch Perchta, or maybe one of Wotan’s household demons—either way, he’s older than the Church and twice as committed to ruining your December. St. Nick lives in the Christmas season, but Krampus is straight Yule.
Every year on Krampusnacht, children from around the globe—from the truly bad to the ones who just have truly bad parents—rest uneasily, wondering if Krampus will come to violently assault them in the night.
It is in this lovely holiday spirit that we review two erotic tales starring Krampus himself.
Punished by Krampus
by Skyla Gray
Never let your fiance drag you to meet his wealthy family in their luxurious mountaintop chalet for the first time…on Krampusnacht.
But that’s exactly what Diana does, and now Louis is sleazing his way through introductions with his weirdly aggressive parents, his lout of a brother, and a soon-to-be sister in law with mysterious welts across her back. Diana wants to get through the weekend without revealing too much about herself, because if she did…there could be trouble.
Instead, there’s a different kind of trouble.
The Kohler family, she soon learns, has a special arrangement with the enormous, chain-wrapped monster lurking outside their bunker-like estate. If Diana can take the punishment, she’s worthy to join the family.
She also soon learns that Krampus has a huge cock and he’s almost as horny as he is bloodthirsty.
Will Diana survive Krampusnacht with her sanity—and butt-skin—intact? Can she use her mysterious background to convince Krampus that he wants revenge on the Kohlers more than he wants to punish her? Can she open up wide enough to get that Yule log in there?
So many questions. Only one night.
Just released this month, Punished by Krampus is a blast from start to finish. The pace is lightning-fast, the characters are memorable, and it’s filled with 1990’s R-rated horror movie energy—the ultra rich bad guys in their too-chic chalet, a great occult device tying the real world to fantasy, tons of gore and sex and one-liners. Gray perfectly walks the tightrope of making the story genuinely suspenseful, but just campy enough that it’s fun. Monsterfuckers will love it.
Find Punished by Krampus at Amazon
and more about Skyla Gray at skyla-gray.com
Spanked by the Krampus
by Lisbet Castle
Not everyone loves their job.
Sure, Krampus gets a list of Naughty children every year—and sure—it’s his job to punish them unmerciful. But it doesn’t mean he has to like it.
Don’t get confused—he loves spanking—but after 600 years, the idea of another season of traumatizing rude 8 year-olds is settling in his stomach like bad egg nog. He’d probably quit, but his brother Nico Klaus—the big cheese in the North Pole—has gotten really intense about The Work, which is his corporate-speak for prescribing morality to mortals.
Despite his jolly appearance, Nico is a real asshole—and nobody knows that better than Holly, a thicc North Pole pixie that just got fired for daring to question the outcome metrics of The Work. She’s looked at the data, and frankly, she’s not seeing any improvement in kids who get Krampus’d for Christmas.
If it seems like Holly and Krampus (or Konrad, as he prefers to be called) are destined to get together and fuck—you’d be right! Holly might be pint-sized, but she’s packing two Christmas hams that are begging for a spanking, and there’s only one mythological creature with the enthusiasm and upper-body strength to oblige.
Paddle, Williams Sonoma Boudoir, $73.12
Despite numerous scenes of Seasonal S&M, Festive Fellatio, and Christmas Cunnilingus, Spanked by the Krampus is a fundamentally wholesome book. It deals with the insecurity of a character feared because of the circumstances of his birth, the evolving-but-still-binding nature of long-term relationships (romantic and familial), and the big question of whether punishment actually improves behavior. The book’s got something to say.
Yes, it’s a monsterfucker romance—and it never lingers too long on philosophizing or deep characterization before taking a break for some intense inter-species sex—but it’s legitimately a charming and sophisticated holiday tale.
There is also spanking.
Find Spanked by the Krampus at Amazon
A Responsible Holiday Book Review Guide to Krampus Smut
I know what you’re saying—sure, that horrible, hooved creature I’ve seen online is sexy, but do I really want to read a whole romance about him? Here’s the secret: you want to read two whole romances about him! These books take wildly different approaches to the genre, but each delivers style, intensity, and just the right amount of humor. Punished by Krampus has thriller DNA and never slows down long enough to get too sentimental, while Spanked by the Krampus is overflowing with sentimentality, romantic discovery, and seasonal butt stuff. Plenty of spanking to go around in both of these books, though.
Ronald Sampson
Share this:
