ESCANABA – Everyone knows his deep backstory and fascinating lore – the legendary cryptid known as Dogman has recently made waves in both the cryptozoological and technological communities. Renowned for his elusive nature and truly interesting tales, Dogman recently made headlines by discarding his Meta Quest 3, a move that left many scratching their heads in disbelief.
Rumors swirled about Dogman’s motives, with some speculating that he was attempting to distance himself from technology or take a much-needed break from social media. However, the truth behind his actions paints a different picture altogether.
According to reports, Dogman returned the Meta Quest 3 to the very dumpster from which he had salvaged his first headset, an Oculus Rift, demonstrating an unparalleled sense of ethical responsibility. Far from shunning technology entirely, Dogman’s subsequent behavior suggests a keen interest in exploring new digital frontiers.
Enter Threads, the Twitter clone launched by Meta through Instagram in a baffling and unnecessary move. Despite the confusion surrounding its inception, Threads has captured Dogman’s attention with its unique blend of content and community.
Dogman’s interpreter revealed that the cryptid finds Instagram appealing for its scenic imagery and intriguing depictions of werewolf ladies. However, it is Threads that has truly captivated his interest, drawing him in with tantalizing previews of posts that promise depth and insight, only to deliver the stalest pablum available.
Yet, Dogman’s enthusiasm quickly wanes as he delves deeper into Threads’ offerings. He laments the abundance of recycled content reminiscent of Twitter circa 2017, suspecting that much of it is generated by algorithms trained during the more popular platform’s heyday.
In particular, Dogman takes issue with the ubiquitous tone of verified accounts, noting its resemblance to the “Blue Check Scourge” that has plagued Twitter and beyond. Despite this, he finds solace in Threads’ lack of pressure to engage in debates or contribute original thoughts, as the platform’s content often feels like reheated leftovers.
For Dogman, the allure of Threads lies in its potential for serendipitous discovery, despite its shortcomings. He revels in the novelty of encountering the exact same views that he finds everywhere else, and pedestrian opinions that never deviate from the prevailing orthodoxy of the day, finding them refreshingly unfiltered compared to the curated feeds of other social media platforms.
As Dogman navigates the digital landscape, his journey serves as a reminder of the ever-evolving relationship between cryptids and technology. While he may have discarded one device, his curiosity and adaptability ensure that he remains at the forefront of the digital frontier, ready to explore new realms and unearth hidden treasures.
In the end, Dogman’s foray into Threads highlights the complex interplay between myth and modernity, reminding us that even the most mysterious creatures are not immune to the allure of social media’s siren song. As he continues his quest for connection and enlightenment, one thing remains clear: Dogman’s digital odyssey is far from over.
Stan Dirkson
