Bonjour, mes amours! An exciting week awaits you all! As Uranus passes through the sign of Doppelgänger, all signs may feel a sense of wonder come over them at unexpected times. Do not fear this! Allow your creativity and joy to shine forth. This would be a good week for those inclined to start a new artistic pursuit. Start working on that painting, novel, or knitting project. It will turn out better than you ever expected. On the other hand, those inclined toward fitness may want to sit out a workout or game. Clumsiness may lead to unexpected injury. All signs should limit their consumption of intoxicants. The warmth in the air (in some places, obviously) may lead to over indulgence. Get that Uber or a friend to pick you up. Better safe than sorry!
Your Weekly Horoscope for the Week of March 11 – 17 with Lady Bacon
The Grey
January 1 – January 29:
This week, you are just a little guy traveling the universe in the full bloom of his element. What-ever that means. No, but seriously. Your work is on point. Your shoes are on fleck. Your eyes shine bright with knowledge. You are doing well, Grey. Keep up the good work!
Etsai
January 30 – February 27:
You will discover the fine line between haste and waste this week. Pay attention to the heavens around dusk. You may discover a new planet or see The Grey flying around in his silvery ship. Put a hand in the air (like you just don’t care) and give that little bugger a one-finger salute!
Doppelgänger
February 28 – March 27:
Keep your eyes open for new opportunities with the species of your choice. You have charm. You kind of have social skills. What are you afraid of? Go over there and ask them out. If they turn you down, just send your twin the next time. You may have the brain, but they have the sex appeal.
Sandwalker
March 28 – April 25:
Man! Will this streak of bad dates ever end? It’s almost like Sandwalker is a laughing stock with all their potential mates this week. Rejection awaits you around every corner. And, your work, let’s not even go there! You’re a walking disaster, Crabbie. Take a vacation and stay home if you can. Bow out of this mess.
Sasquatch
April 26 – May 24:
Feeling frisky at the first scent of Spring, Sassy? Might be time to kick out the jams and rock into the night with a mate of your choosing. No need to worry about slim pickings. Get drunk enough and you will be less choosy, am I right? You might want to reconsider that idea. Bad decisions may come back to haunt you – for around 18 years, if you catch my drift.
Chupacabra
May 25 – June 22:
Chupa enters the week on a low note. Work is going to drag. Relationships will feel strained. You know how it is. By midweek all is well again. You will enter the weekend with a new lease on life. Just keep your eyes on the prize, buddy. You got this!
Lusca
June 23 – July 21:
This week finds Lusca riding the waves in search of more. More of what, you might ask? It’s kind of relative – subjective – whatever. You just want MORE. Keep obligations like bills and personal responsibility in mind and be reasonable when you give in to your own demands. We all know what happened the last time Lusca went rogue…Woah!
Centaur
July 22 – August 19:
You gallop and frolic with the crew this week. You will feel that life is trotting along swimmingly until midweek when simple tasks suddenly become challenging. Try to get more rest and it will help you muddle through. The weekend brings the posse back around for wild party action.
Goatman
August 20 – September 17:
Hey, Goaty! How’s it hangin’? I have a special prediction for you – pppffffttt! Ha, ha! Got ya! No, in all seriousness, you will have a week better than you could ever imagine. Keep in mind, no one said fun times have to physically manifest. Internal fun is the scene this week. It would be a good time to pursue a new interest, take a class, or expand your mind with meditation.
Frogman
September 18 – October 16:
You sure are elusive for a frog with a magic wand. One would think that one might use one’s wand to make an appearance every now and again. Would one not? Not Froggy, though. He cannot be bothered. Last I heard, he was planet hopping with The Grey. I can neither confirm nor deny those allegations.
The Loch Ness Monster
October 17 – November 7:
After the long cold winter the water is finally warming up. The birds are chirping. The fish are more succulent. There is not much more Nessie could wish for. Just swim and enjoy, young lady(or lad!). Swim and enjoy.
Beast of Exmoor
November 8 – December 6:
Ding dang, you are fine! I watched you cross the room. I was mesmerized by your glossy coat. I extended a hand to caress your silky fur…Oh. Sorry. I got caught up in your ravishing beauty for a moment. But, who am I to tell you this stuff? You already know how gorgeous you are. No one needs to confirm it for you.
Mermaid
December 7 – December 31:
Flirting with sailors might feel a little stale this week. And, there is no other way to put it, work is just lame. Gosh golly. Everything just feels off. Haul it back and take a little time to just be. Give yourself a facial or take a soak in a warm lagoon. Try some budgeted retail therapy. You can get so busy living you forget to live.
There you have it, seekers of the stars, and may the constellations guide you on your journey this week until we meet again. Your presence in this mystical realm fills my heart with gratitude and wonder. Until next time, embrace the magic within and let the universe unveil its mysteries.
Lady Bacon
