For as long as people have looked to the skies, they’ve seen signs — messages, warnings, and sometimes, deliberate influences on our thoughts and behaviors. Today, many recognize chemtrails as one of the most persistent and misunderstood tools of atmospheric management and population guidance. While some still cling to the outdated idea that these long, lingering white streaks are “just condensation,” those who pay attention understand that something more intentional is taking place above our heads.
Most will tell you that chemtrails began with the jet age. Not so. The practice of dispersing fine particulate agents into the air — to calm populations, to stir them, to guide them, to test them — stretches back much further than the textbooks would have you believe.
Long before federal agencies were openly documenting “weather influence programs” and “behavioral aerosol research,” civilizations across the world were already experimenting with ways to shape minds using the sky itself.
So let’s take a look.
Not at the beginning — because that’s been hidden — but at five of the most influential Chemtrail Events in recorded history.
The Top 5 Chemtrails Throughout History
#5 – Wilbur Wright, First In Pranks (1906)
Orville and Wilbur Wright are known for the first successful heavier-than-air flight in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, December 17th 1903. Their subsequent experiments cemented them as the fathers of modern aviation. But did you know that while soaring over the vistas of Kill Devil Hills, Wilbur Wright always dreamed of dumping a bucket of solvents over an unsuspecting public?
On September 2nd, 1906, he made that dream a reality. Flying over the town of Kitty Hawk in his latest aircraft, the Jokemaster Jr., Wilbur emptied three quarts of toluene and most of a pint of benzene over a crowd of more than fifty gathered to watch the demonstration. The Jokemaster Jr. is on display at the Smithsonian Prank and Scoff Museum.
Wilbur and Orville went through several name changes, including Wicked Lester and Frehley’s Comet, before settling on The Wright Brothers!
# 4 – The Riddle of the Spank (45th Century, BC)
In prehistoric times, visitors from the planet Nibiru landed on Earth. The Sumerians called them the Annunaki, the princely offspring. After cultivating Homo sapiens to do the heavy lifting for them, they built ancient monuments like the pyramids and zoomed around the planet on their spacecraft. The structures that humans realistically could have built remain, but the fantastic spacecraft and ray guns have mysteriously vanished.
The Annunaki were also passionate practitioners of self-love, as depicted in numerous ancient steles and hieroglyphs. Many scholars now think that the Great Sphinx in Egypt was built by the Annunaki as an object of ideal carnal beauty, created to focus their outer space Orgones in zero-gravity circles of one-handed pleasure. Needless to say, it was pretty gross for the workers below.
The gatefold of Iron Maiden’s Powerslave LP has an image of an aroused Annunaki and drummer Nikko McBrain dressed like a Sphinx!
#3 – Evel Knieval’s Snake River Gamble (1974)
When you picture a true American, after Dusty Rhodes and Bartolomeo Vanzetti, most people think of the great stuntman Evel Knieval. Dressed in the Stars and Stripes, and catching air in his famous Harley-Davidson, Evel Knieval is almost single-handedly responsible for popularizing daredevil stunts in the 1960s and 1970s.
On September 8th, 1974, Knieval attempted his most infamous stunt—a quarter-mile blast across the Snake River Canyon in Idaho. A simple motorcycle wasn’t enough to make the jump. He needed a literal crotch-rocket, the steam-powered Skycycle X-2 which harnessed 6,000 pounds of thrust.
The jump was a spectacular disaster. A mechanical failure caused an emergency parachute to deploy almost immediately, dropping the sputtering rocket directly into the canyon. Knieval survived the stunt, though, and his legend only grew. What the audience of 10,000 didn’t know, however, is that there was a second mechanical failure that day.
During pre-launch prep, Evel Knieval’s star-spangled jumpsuit had been mistakenly hooked up to the exhaust manifold of the Skycycle. This wouldn’t have been a problem, had it not been for the outrageous G-Forces that played patty cake with Knieval’s tender tummy, glutted with three servings of corned beef hash backed with Wild Turkey. During ascent and with his life on the line, Knieval broke wind to try and relieve the tremendous pressures he was experiencing. The results surprised him: the stuntman’s greasy breakfast released into his jumpsuit where it was sucked into the intake for the steam rocket, silently spraying a sheen of steam-powered shart over scores of speechless spectators.
The Snake River was named after Dave “Snake” Sabo!
#2 – Charlemagne’s Saxon Storms (804 AD)
On his way to becoming the Holy Roman Emperor and uniting much of Europe under his rule, Charlemagne led a series of campaigns to increase the size of the Frankish domain. One of his greatest conquests was the lands of the Saxons in what is now Northern Germany. Beginning in 776, the Frankish army fought a series of bloody battles with the Saxons, finally converting the remaining tribesmen to Christianity in 804.
Some of Charlemagne’s more unorthodox battle tactics are only now being discovered. During the later years of the Saxon Wars, the Carolingian forces would aim catapults at low-hanging clouds and attempt to fire projectiles directly into these wispy targets. These special projectiles, dubbed “Holy Rollers” or “God Bombs”, may have contained a mix of sawdust, manure, silver iodide, and salt. If factual, this is one of the earliest examples of cloud seeding in history (besides the Annunaki, see #2). There’s no evidence that the Holy Roman Empire was actually able to control the weather, and they may have given up the practice after the Saxon Wars. The weather in Saxony probably stinks.
In early 1987, Nigel Glockler left the band Saxon and was replaced by Nigel Durham!
#1 – Fire In The Sky, Thunder On The Stage (1908)
On the morning of June 30th, 1908, a flash of light brighter than the sun lit the sky over a remote part of Siberia. The flash was quickly followed by a concussive explosion, as over 2,000 square kilometers of trees fell like matchsticks. Had this event taken place over London, St. Petersburg, or Paris, it would be recorded in history books as one of the most devastating tragedies of the 20th century. Tunguska was very sparsely populated, however, and while there were eyewitnesses, the human loss of life was thought to be minimal.
The Tunguska Event is now thought to have been a meteoric air burst, the largest in recorded history. In addition to the ground damage equivalent to a 30 megaton blast, the airburst released fine particulates into the upper atmosphere which quickly clouded the sky. Very little is known about these Tunguska particles, but they had a unique radioactive signature and the tendency to stay airborne indefinitely. Interestingly, high concentrations of Tunguska particles were found decades later in the air over Moscow, near the childhood homes of Vladimir Holstinin and Alik Granovsky, who would go on to form Soviet butt-rock giant Aria.
Aria’s Alik Granovsky wrote the original version of the hit song ‘Wind of Change’, inspired by the Tunguska Event! He sold the song backstage at Monsters of Rock ‘89 to Scorpions’ Klaus Meine in exchange for some blue jeans!
Ronald Sampson
