Today, I’d like to talk about a phenomenon that’s been haunting more than just old Victorian mansions lately, in fact it’s been haunting this very site – the trend of blaming ghosts for every hiccup in your life. Now, I get it, life can be tough, but come on, blaming Casper for your inability to adult? That’s a spectral stretch too far. Here are five reasons why I believe ghost-blaming is not only lazy but downright irresponsible, and hey, it makes for some terrible writing.
1. Ghosts Don’t Pay the Bills: Sure, the lights flicker and the temperature drops when ghosts are supposedly around, but last time I checked, the electric company doesn’t accept ectoplasm as payment. Blaming ghosts for financial troubles is like blaming the bogeyman for eating your leftovers – it might sound good, but it won’t solve anything. Let’s be real; ghosts have their own ethereal problems to deal with. They’re not your financial advisors; they’re probably busy haunting some spooky attic or moaning about their unfinished business.
2. Ghosts Aren’t Relationship Counselors: Relationships are tricky, and I get it – sometimes it feels like there’s a third wheel in the form of a ghost. But blaming every argument, breakup, or awkward date on some ghostly interference is a cop-out. Ghosts didn’t text your ex at 2 AM, and they certainly didn’t leave that passive-aggressive note on your fridge. Take responsibility for your own love-life missteps, and leave the ghosts out of your romantic drama. Trust me; they’ve got their own ghostly heartbreaks to deal with.
3. Ghosts Aren’t Responsible for Procrastination: Missed deadlines, unfinished projects, and a to-do list longer than a Victorian ghost story – we’ve all been there. But let’s not play the spectral blame game here. Ghosts aren’t hiding your car keys or making your Netflix binge last longer than it should. Procrastination is a human skill; blaming ghosts for it is like blaming your cat for stealing your snacks. Your ghostly roommate is not whispering in your ear to binge-watch that new horror series. That’s all on you, my friend.
4. Ghosts Don’t Write Bad Cover Letters: Looking for a job is tough, and I sympathize with everyone facing rejection after rejection. But blaming ghosts for your lack of employment is like blaming the boogeyman for a bad hair day – it’s just not their department. Ghosts didn’t write that cringe-worthy cover letter or flub that important interview question. Take a ghostly step back and focus on polishing your professional skills. The only haunting on your resume should be your stellar achievements.
5. Ghosts Aren’t Responsible for Unfinished Novels: As a writer, I’ve heard every excuse in the book for not finishing that novel – writer’s block, lack of inspiration, and, of course, ghosts stealing your plot ideas. Newsflash: ghosts don’t care about your unfinished manuscript. Blaming them for your writer’s block is like blaming Slimer for a messy kitchen. Sit down, summon your inner ghostwriter, and finish that novel. The only haunting in your future should be from your literary critics.
In conclusion, blaming ghosts for life’s hiccups is a lazy cop-out. Particularly when we’re looking to improve ourselves for the coming new year, it’s time to take responsibility for our actions and stop pointing the spectral finger every time something goes awry. Remember, ghosts have their own responsibilities – haunting abandoned mansions, rattling chains, and scaring the bejeezus out of people. So, the next time you’re tempted to blame a ghost for your problems, just remember: haunting responsibilities is a job best left to the professionals.
Hiram Glassman
