Salut, les amis! It never lets up. Venus kicked most signs in the shin last week. We have Saturn Retrograde to contend with now. All signs may be questioning authority this week. It is also possible that what went around will come around for some of us.
The Grey January 1 – January 29:
It was only a matter of time before you met your match, Grey. Better face it head on and try to learn from it. You have little choice in the matter.
Etsai January 30 – February 27:
Sensitive bulls never make it far. Time to harden your horns and dig in your hooves. My Guide Fai’th-Ra says, “You must respect yourself before anyone else will.”
Doppelgänger February 28 – March 27:
Browsing astrology channels on YouTube will help you understand your situation better. Your evil twin is planning your demise. What else is new?
Sandwalker March 28 – April 25:
As a natural introvert, spending time alone recharges you. This week, you take up a new hobby that involves other crabs. Of course, as soon as you allow others into your rocky crag it is nothing but hassle.
Sasquatch April 26 – May 24:
You have been torn in too many directions of late. It is time to focus on your path. Gather
resources and make it happen.
Chupacabra May 25 – June 22:
You knew goat scarfing would eventually catch up to you. You cannot go a-poaching and expect to get away with it forever. I can see those torches and pitchforks gathering as we speak.
Lusca June 23 – July 21:
After being punished for getting too gropy last week, you may find yourself seeking a tentacle massage. Just make sure it is a reputable place or you may find yourself behind bars.
Centaur July 22 – August 19:
Family members may hold an intervention for you this week. At the same time, your work may put you on a leave of absence. It has caught up to you, brah.
Goatman August 20 – September 17:
You are the only one who will get away with whatever you want to do this week. Try to be nice, Goaty. I know how hard that may be.
Frogman September 18 – October 16:
You are not one to follow the crowd. You may find yourself in the grips of an authority figure that may mean well, but present poorly.
The Loch Ness Monster October 17 – November 7:
The Grand Council of Loch Ikhthus, a completely true and respected group of fish elders, has called you out for your inconsiderate actions of late. Eating all the kelp left none for the fry. That was pretty messed up, Nessie.
Beast of Exmoor November 8 – December 6:
Scrapping with other cats has left a large gash. No reason to fear. Your skin will heal in time. Your fur will cover the scar. Your ego on the other hand…
Mermaid December 7 – December 31:
This week, you are the one who decides who will be punished and who will be rewarded. In your own sphere, that is. You control some things, not all things.
La’La-Ra has a general message for everyone: Karma is a b…. I had to censor her message, but you can probably make out what she stated. Everyone should do their best to be extra good this week. The concept works both ways, you know.
Love to all!
Lady Bacon
