Salut, les amis! The end of this week brings us to the center of Chupacabra season. You may feel a strange mystery in the air. There is a “who-done-it” vibe going on. You may find yourself suspicious of friends and loved ones. Relax. It is just the season. Your fears are unfounded, pal.
The Grey January 1 – January 29:
You have never been one to miss out on misadventure. If you insist on interfering with semiconductors and unleashing tornadoes on Texas, people are going to start thinking you are a jerk.
Etsai January 30 – February 27:
Poor bull has been down on their luck this week. Looks like Bovine Fever has finally made its way to you. I guess I was wrong about allergies last week. My bad, Bullsy.
Doppelgänger February 28 – March 27:
Your twin has finally started to come around. They issued a public apology at the end of last week. Unfortunately, their monitor stopped working and they stood there in dazed silence for thirty minutes. Hey, they tried.
Sandwalker March 28 – April 25:
Tap dance your way over to that hottie at the bar and buy them a fruity cocktail. I know you are shy, but you can do it. It is time to shed your scaredy shell and expand, Crabby.
Sasquatch April 26 – May 24:
Get ready for frustration upon frustration this week. Let it roll off, friend. Next week this will all be in the past.
Chupacabra May 25 – June 22:
If you keep provoking goats you are going to get rammed. They did nothing to you. Grow up already!
Lusca June 23 – July 21:
Sultry teaser, Lusca. Tentacles in all directions – you come on way too strong sometimes. You have a real chance at love here. Reign in those hormones a bit before you blow it.
Centaur July 22 – August 19:
Severe weather really puts a damper on parties, does it not? No problem. Use it as an excuse to get some work done in your living space.
Goatman August 20 – September 17:
Here you are, wandering in a field, eating something trashy. Just minding your own, you know? Here comes that moron Chupa to ruin it all. I swear, he is worse than a kid.
Frogman September 18 – October 16:
The question on everyone’s mind: Why do we celebrate World Turtle day but cannot get a day for frogs? If you need a noble cause to get behind – there you go!
The Loch Ness Monster October 17 – November 7:
Be careful when you take to the waterways this week, my love. Currents may be affected by Grey’s weather tampering.
Beast of Exmoor November 8 – December 6:
Those missing campers would have been better off putting their food in a bear bag. All yours now. Haha, suckers!
Mermaid December 7 – December 31:
Splashing in the waves is starting to feel a bit old hat. Time to find a sea witch and weave a spell for some shapely walking legs.
Our friends in cryptid-land seem to be doing well this week. For all who read this, I have put a Reiki power symbol upon it. May you feel empowered as you move throughout your week. Make your dreams come true. Remember to spread love – the world needs a new song to sing,instead of the oppressive and hateful one we have all been settling for.
Until next week, my friends!
Lady Bacon
