As I sit down to share my thoughts with you, dear readers, I must confess: steroids have become my saving grace. You see, in the tumultuous journey of life, I’ve encountered my fair share of obstacles – from battling gray aliens to facing down my inner demons. But through it all, steroids have emerged as my steadfast companion, providing me with the strength and resilience to confront whatever challenges come my way.
Gray aliens may not be the most formidable opponents individually, but their sheer numbers present a formidable challenge. Thanks to steroids, I’ve been able to enhance my physical prowess, allowing me to brutalize them more effectively and for longer durations. However, as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that my recovery times are no longer as swift as they once were. With steroids, I can recover like I’m in my 30s again, and get back to conking those big gray heads together like coconuts in no time. Laying a beating on these extraterrestrial invaders remains one of my greatest joys, a welcome distraction from the vices of my past.
Speaking of vices, I must confess that I once indulged in drinking and gambling, succumbing to the insidious influence of evil ghosts who led me down a path of addiction and financial ruin. However, with the help of steroids, I’ve managed to break free from these destructive habits. Pumping iron has become my new obsession, leaving me with little time or inclination to revisit the casino or drown my sorrows in alcohol. After all, why waste my hard-earned gains on fleeting pleasures?
My dear friend Ebonflow has returned to my life, albeit without his amulet, and I am simply grateful for our reunion so I refuse to ask where that glowing emerald charm has gone. Little do others know, he also serves as my steroid supplier and training partner as I prepare to face off against a certain four-eyed nancy boy who dares to challenge me. I was unaware of his taunts until Ebonflow told me(I don’t read anyone else’s articles), but now I take them quite personally – and with the aid of steroids, I am ready to prove my superiority once and for all.
And then there’s Bigfoot – a creature with whom I have unfinished business. I intend to settle our score once and for all by ambushing him in a bog, where I hope to glean insights into the mysterious Bogfoot. Without the physical and emotional strength provided by steroids, such an endeavor would be impossible. He probably won’t read this, so please don’t tip him off.
Dear readers, allow me to reiterate: steroids have become indispensable to me, offering a solution to the myriad challenges I face, none of which are my fault, of course. From battling gray aliens to confronting inner demons and settling scores with legendary beasts, steroids have empowered me to tackle life’s obstacles head-on. So here’s to the transformative power of steroids – may they continue to be my steadfast ally in the face of adversity.
Mohammed Sinclair
