PSIZZLIN’ WITH LADY BACON: Your Weekly Horoscope for the Week of July 22 – July 28
Salut, les amis! This week brings the full moon in the human-derived sign of Capricorn – asopposed to the signs…
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CURIOUS COOKING: Chill Your Restless Spirit This Summer With Polterg-Iced Tea
As the summer sun casts its long, golden rays across the garden, there’s nothing quite like a tall, chilled glass…
SPECTRAL SECRECY: California Bans Policies Requiring Notification of Ghostly Transition to Higher Powers
SACRAMENTO – California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law Monday banning all medical facilities from implementing policies that…
BUSTIN’ MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD – Charity Ghost Hunt at Adult Bookstore Leaves Staind Frontman on the Outside Looking In
Dale and Beatrice Bosom, acclaimed ghost hunters, held a star-studded charity séance at the Pioneer Valley ‘Route 33’ Adult Bookstore in Chicopee, Massachusetts. Despite unexpected customer interactions, the event featured paranormal investigations and a séance involving Staind’s Aaron Lewis. The event raised over $700 to install blackout film on the bookstore’s windows.
DIMETRODON WINS THE LOTTERY: PREHISTORIC JACKPOT SHOCKS THE WORLD
SOUTH BOSTON – In a twist straight out of a science fiction novel, a dimetrodon has defied the odds and…
CATFISHED: Woman Meets The Man Of Her Dreams Online
EUGENE – Gabriella Romano, a 26-year-old woman frustrated with online dating, unexpectedly finds herself dating an actual catfish named Icarus Punctatus. Despite initial shock, she enjoys their date and plans to meet him again, even taking scuba lessons. Gabriella’s story highlights the unpredictability of online romance and maintaining an open mind.
A GIANT SCAM: Is the “Human Growth Hormone” A Myth?
Miskatonic, Mass – Controversy has been raging over the past year in the tightly knit endocrinology community over the existence…
DIVINE INTERVENTION: Donald Trump Assassination Attempt Thwarted by Richard Simmons’ Angel
Former President Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt thanks to the spirit of Richard Simmons, orchestrated by psychic Lady Bacon. Simmons, the late fitness icon, saved Trump by intercepting a silver bullet intended for him, believing Simmons to be a werewolf. This act bound Simmons to an eternal torment meant for Trump. Despite the pain, Simmons accepted this fate out of gratitude for Trump’s past kindness. The story has captivated the public, blending politics and the supernatural. There is hope for Simmons’ redemption if Trump reforms. Supporters are encouraged to pray for both figures, seeking a positive resolution.
PSIZZLIN’ WITH LADY BACON: Your Weekly Horoscope for the Week of July 15 – July 21
Salut, les amis! Mars and Uranus are combining forces to make things wild this week. UnderMars, we can all get…
CURIOUS COOKING: Probe Your Culinary Curiosity with Biscuits and Greyvy
In the realm of culinary delights, some dishes take us on a journey that is nothing short of extraordinary. Today,…