MARTHA’S VINEYARD – In February of 1971, James Taylor recorded “You’ve Got A Friend” as the first single for his album released later that year, “Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon”, meeting with widespread commercial success upon release. The song was actually written and released earlier that year by friend Carole King, but upon hearing that Taylor liked the song, she immediately tried to convince him to record a version of his own. Why did she do this? Well, it turns out the song was written as a magical incantation that grants the recording artist commercial success, but in exchange, is forced into the service of whoever calls out their name in times of need.
“I thought the song was fantastic when I first heard it.” Said Taylor in an exclusive interview with The Reality Register. “It seemed to convey a sense of deep friendship and I really liked the message, but soon after it hit the airwaves, I learned what it really was about. It was by far my most successful single up to that point and it really brought my career to the next level, so I appreciated Carole letting me do a version of it, but she told me at the Grammy ceremony about the strings attached.”
King, a long time conjurer of dark arts and witchcraft, confessed to Taylor that she had entered into a pact with a demonic force that gave her the song. The song was guaranteed to be a nationwide hit, but carried with it a caveat that allowed astute listeners to call upon whichever singer achieved the greatest success using it to their aid by utilizing instructions hidden in the lyrics.
“It was about August of the following year that the first guy called upon me,” recalls Taylor. “One minute I was in my home studio working on the finishing details on a concept album I had going, the next I’m in some gated warehouse parking lot with this guy who had been cornered by a guard dog. The guy looked pretty surprised to see me, but he pointed at the German Sheppard screaming, “Get him! Get him!” Well I had my guitar with me still somehow, so I just beat the thing to death with it. It was pretty wild. I helped the guy steal a few stereos from the warehouse and told him “you only get one call,” you know, so he wouldn’t try it again, and then got out of there. The place turned out to be in Chicago, so it took me about three days to get home, but when I did, I named the new album “One Man Dog” in reference to that first call.”
Over the following years, James was bothered sparingly by the pact, but was helpless to resist its call when it did come. He estimates he’s saved the lives of about 20 people calling out his name in desperation since 1972, but the pleas for help have become more frequent in recent years.
“Not too many people figured it out actually, when you think about how popular the song was. For a while it was like this cool and secret super-power that I had, you know? I even made sure I always had a gun on me because I never knew when I was going to be dragged into some dangerous situation,” Taylor explains, “But at some point, someone, somewhere figured out the incantation and told everyone they knew, and now I just get bothered for every little thing. I’m 76 years old now, I don’t have the energy I once had when it comes to helping someone out of a life or death situation, let alone opening a jar of pickles for some lady or going on a beer run for a group of drunken college kids. It’s all just become very tiresome.”
According to King, Taylor would be freed if someone were to record a version of the song that proved to be a greater commercial success than his, as he did for her so many years ago.
“I came to talk to you guys in hopes that someone reads this and wants to do a version of the song,” laments Taylor. “That way, I get my freedom, Carole gets her royalties, and a new artist gets to jump-start their career. She had the right idea, she became a songwriter primarily right after our little deal. Lord knows what mystical powers are hidden in those songs.”
If you want to call upon the power of James Taylor the next time you’re in need, all you have to do is follow the instructions of the song. Just close your eyes, think of James Taylor, call out his name aloud, and soon he’ll be there to brighten up even your darkest night, wherever he is and regardless of the season. After all, you’ve got a friend.
The Ghost of Andrew Crowe
