SINCLAIR: How the Carnivore Diet Brought Me Health, Happiness, and the Fight of My Life
Things have been getting out of hand for me lately. Between my ongoing battles with metaphorical demons and literal monsters,…
SACRED SENTIENT SLACKS? Fresno Nightcrawler Becomes First Cryptid to be Granted Sainthood
THE VATICAN – In the latest effort to maintain relevance, the Catholic Church has officially declared the Fresno Nightcrawler a…
DEAR TOM: Advice On Life, Love, and the American Way From a Time Portal With a Founding Father
Welcome to Dear Tom, an advice column we’re trying out after we received numerous questions that read more like requests…
WHAT’S GOING ON IN BOISE? Bigfoot Suspected of Rabies Infection After He Foams at the Mouth in Daylight Picnic Raid
BOISE — Residents of Boise Idaho were once again faced with an unusual Bigfoot encounter this week. The creature, typically…
SEVEN DEADLY GAMES – Is an Ancient Order Responsible For The Denver Nuggets’ Game Seven Loss at Home?
Nikola Jokić and the Denver Nuggets fell to the Minnesota Timberwolves Sunday night in a stunning 98-90 loss that broke…
HOW CONVENIENT: Iranian Chopper Downed By Dragon, Mystery Dr. President Rises to Replace
IRAN – In a tragic turn of events, Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi died in a helicopter crash on May 19,…
PSIZZLIN’ WITH LADY BACON: Your Weekly Horoscope for the Week of May 20 – May 26
Salut, les amis! Solar flares are no match for this crew of social misfits! Who cares about cell phones and…
SINCLAIR: Flight 370 Returns: A Portal to the Past?
It was a humid afternoon when my editor at The Reality Register threw me the assignment of a lifetime. “Find…
CURIOUS COOKING: Flaunt the Fearsome Flavor of Slendermango Smoothies
As the sun warms the days and invites us to spend more time outdoors, our cravings shift toward refreshing and…
HIRAM RISING: Climate Change is Very Real, But It’s Just the Change of the Seasons
Alright, so I think I’ve cracked the code on climate change, and it’s so simple you’ll kick yourself for not…