HILLBILLY ELEGANCE: Fancy Sofa Was Asking For It, Leaves Appalachian Trail of Bastards
WEST VIRGINIA – In a bizarre and sensational tale that’s sweeping across the internet, a saddle leather sofa, possibly a…
HIRAM RISING: 5 Reasons I Think Nominating Kamala For President Is a Bad Move For America
This past weekend, President Joe Biden withdrew his bid for reelection. Many saw this coming following his less than stellar…
HOLY GUACAMOLE: RI Man Nearly Mummifies In Endless Food Truck Line
NEWPORT – The inevitable happened at the 3rd Annual Newport Food Truck & Craft Beer Festival in Newport, Rhode Island,…
PSIZZLIN’ WITH LADY BACON: Your Weekly Horoscope for the Week of July 22 – July 28
Salut, les amis! This week brings the full moon in the human-derived sign of Capricorn – asopposed to the signs…
CURIOUS COOKING: Chill Your Restless Spirit This Summer With Polterg-Iced Tea
As the summer sun casts its long, golden rays across the garden, there’s nothing quite like a tall, chilled glass…
SPECTRAL SECRECY: California Bans Policies Requiring Notification of Ghostly Transition to Higher Powers
SACRAMENTO – California Gov. Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law Monday banning all medical facilities from implementing policies that…
BUSTIN’ MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD – Charity Ghost Hunt at Adult Bookstore Leaves Staind Frontman on the Outside Looking In
Dale and Beatrice Bosom, acclaimed ghost hunters, held a star-studded charity séance at the Pioneer Valley ‘Route 33’ Adult Bookstore in Chicopee, Massachusetts. Despite unexpected customer interactions, the event featured paranormal investigations and a séance involving Staind’s Aaron Lewis. The event raised over $700 to install blackout film on the bookstore’s windows.
DIMETRODON WINS THE LOTTERY: PREHISTORIC JACKPOT SHOCKS THE WORLD
SOUTH BOSTON – In a twist straight out of a science fiction novel, a dimetrodon has defied the odds and…
CATFISHED: Woman Meets The Man Of Her Dreams Online
EUGENE – Gabriella Romano, a 26-year-old woman frustrated with online dating, unexpectedly finds herself dating an actual catfish named Icarus Punctatus. Despite initial shock, she enjoys their date and plans to meet him again, even taking scuba lessons. Gabriella’s story highlights the unpredictability of online romance and maintaining an open mind.
A GIANT SCAM: Is the “Human Growth Hormone” A Myth?
Miskatonic, Mass – Controversy has been raging over the past year in the tightly knit endocrinology community over the existence…