WHAT A TURKEY! Prez Pardons Pathetic Partner, Party Patriarchs Passed Over
WASHINGTON – In a dramatic departure from the traditional Thanksgiving turkey pardon, President Joe Biden decided to issue a special…
TO CELEBRATE FIFTY YEARS AS A COLUMNIST AT THE WASHINGTON POST, GEORGE WILL EXHUMES HIS MOTHER’S CORPSE
CHAMPAIGN, Illinois – With his unique combination of pragmatic conservatism and erudite dourness, George F. Will has long ago secured…
CURIOUS COOKING: Give Thanks This Season With Otter Mandied Yams
The holiday season invites us to gather, reflect, and give thanks for the blessings in our lives. Yet, even in…
THE REALITY REGISTER UNCOVERS LOST EPISODE OF “ALF”
ALF aired on NBC from 1986 to 1990, a quirky sitcom about a Rodney Dangerfield-esque puppet who crashes his spaceship…
HE’S BAAAAACK: Trump Teams With Presidential Ghost, Harris Communes With Loser Spirits
A shocking new theory is gaining traction in both political and paranormal circles: former President Donald Trump may have been…
“Weird Al” Yankovic Announces 2025 “The Guerras Tour”
LOS ANGELES – Radical anti-fascist song parodist “Weird Al” Yankovic announced his 26 date summer tour via an encrypted Telegram…
FOUR WEIRD TALES OF THE NBA
Roundball Season Starts Off With A Smooch It’s that time of the year again, the terrible magic hour when we…
CURIOUS COOKING: Crash Your Own Party With Gremlinguini With Clam Sauce
For generations, the legend of gremlins has tickled our imaginations, especially among pilots and aviation enthusiasts. These mischievous creatures are…
COLD SHOULDER: Cryptid Expert Weighs In On Yeti’s Loss In Popularity
The following article is a paid promotion for squatchmerch.com Even the stoic and sober world of cryptozoology is swayed by…
HE DID IT ALL FOR THE B&E CHARGE: Florida Man Finds Mysterious Toilet To Another Dimension
GAINESVILLE, FLA – A 46-year-old University of Florida sophomore was arrested Saturday when he was found wandering naked in the Sweetwater…