HE ATE THE MONSTER MASH: The Unlikely Tale of How Two Slender Men Became One
FLAGSTAFF – Buckle up, folks, because we’ve got some mind-bending news fresh off the press. You might want to sit…
JERSEY DEVIL ARRAIGNED ON THREE COUNTS OF RACKETEERING AMIDST MAFIA CRACKDOWN IN NEW JERSEY
TRENTON – In a stunning turn of events, the infamous Jersey Devil, long rumored to be a shadowy figure in…
MOVE OVER, SQUATCHY – Dogman Enjoys Inexplicable Popularity
EVERYWHERE – In the world of cryptids, where legends roam free and mysteries abound, there’s a new star rising on…
WE ALL KNEW IT – Tech Whistleblower Reveals Demonic Smartphone Scheme
CUPERTINO – In an exclusive expose by the Reality Register, a anonymous former tech company whistleblower has unveiled the dark…
INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTAL OPENS AMIDST SOCCER GAME – Crowd Fails To Notice As America Continues To Be Bored By Soccer
FOXBOROUGH – Few occurrences in recent history rival what unfolded over the skies of Foxborough, Massachusetts on the night of…
DON’T CALL ME GNORTS! DON’T CALL ME MR. ALIEN! Neil Armstrong’s Ghost Sets The Record Straight
THE AFTERLIFE – In an unprecedented act of journalistic integrity, the Reality Register’s staff medium has made contact with the…
A SPOOKY DISAPPOINTMENT: Young Couple Finds Living in a Haunted House To Be Lame
VILLAGE GREEN – In a quaint town in upstate New York, nestled between rolling hills and ancient forests, lies a…
SAUCE – SQUATCH Spotted Behind Portland Pizza Parlor – Dumpster Diving Just Got Messier
PORTLAND – Behind the quaint facade of Tony Salami’s Pizza Parlor lies a tale of tomatoey terror, one that has…
CURIOUS COOKING: Beam Up The Flavor of Alienchiladas
Welcome back, strange sauciers, to another tantalizing culinary adventure in the realm of Curious Cooking. Today, we embark on a…
OPINION: Gaining Superpowers Is Much Harder Than The Comics and Movies Make It Seem
As many of you know, I’ve been training for an upcoming fight with another writer here at The Reality Register,…